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”“Get out of my house,” snapped Frankie. “I won’t have you disrespect the memory of that great lady here, or anywhere.”“And what if I don’t?”A knock came from the front door. Frankie rose and opened the door to see his mom standing there holding a tray. “Mom?”“I thought we could enjoy dinner together,” she said as she walked in. “Oh hello. Mr. Young, right?”“He was just leaving Mom. Weren’t you, Mr. Young?”“I’ll be back, boy,” said Mr. Young as he rose to his feet.Frankie’s mom handed Frankie the tray and stepped up to Mr. Young. “Mr. Young. Let me make one thing perfectly clear. If you ever show up here again unannounced or threaten my boy again, I will destroy you myself.”“Please,” said Mr. Young. “What can you do to me?”“I know much more than you think Mr. Young. Threaten my son again, and you’ll find out exactly what Sandra told me.”Mr. Young stared at Frankie’s mom for the longest time, then turned on his heels and left. Frankie and his mom watched as he drove away, then Frankie. I awoke to her anguish, rousing Robert and Hannah as well, who convinced me that there was no safe way to untangle him from even a human female. It was cruel to Guido, full of real risk of penile injury.“Sorry, Miriam, but you’re gonna have to wait poor Guido out and let him finish naturally. I warned you about flirting with dogs, didn’t I? Dogs don’t grasp consent or lack thereof, and if they’re that horny, they can and will attempt to mate with even humans. Guido’s just being a literal horndog. He can’t help himself. Does it hurt that badly?” I wondered openly.“Not really, but it’s not an experience that I plan to repeat. I will pay closer attention from now on and be more careful not to get stuck with a breeding dog like him. At least he was a purebred Doberman, eh? This will be something that we laugh at years later. Not sexy, at least not to me, but I suppose that I’ll always be extra fond of the dog that humped me. It will be funny, anyway, once it’s actually over. I guess that.
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